A Fresh Start: Returning to Blogging
In the past, I blogged under the name “DBA Gooner,” sharing insights and stories from my journey as a database administrator. It was a creative outlet—a way to connect with the tech community and showcase my expertise with SQL Server.
But a few years ago, life threw me a curveball.
Building It All Up
When I first got into the world of SQL Server my boss told me about PASS and pushed me to get involved. He took me to the Summit conference in Seattle in 2012. I fell in love with the community, and immediately signed up for twitter as dbagooner, built a wordpress blog at dbagooner.com and began to interact with the community adapting this persona. For the next few years, I would wear Arsenal jerseys to the conference and meet up with other gooners.
I made some great contacts with (insert name drops) people at SQL Skills, Denny Cherry and associates, and Brent Ozar. All of these rockstars were consultants. Their presentations were mostly focused on solving problems, problems they had encountered with client environments. At the time, I was a DBA in a small manufacturing company and just soaking it all in. I wrote some blogs, I was pretty proud of a few that revolved around SSMS. Tips and tricks that made my life easier. But I wasn’t really interested in blogging about internals of SQL, I mean, who would read my post when everyone else was writing about this stuff? My niche of user interface blogging seemed fine.
I continued expanding my involvement into the community, I’d volunteer at every SQL Saturday I could go to, and every Summit. Eventually I interviewed for another DBA position and I am fairly certain I got the role because I knew a few of the manager’s PASS Idols. I continued to blog, and often used my blog to document what I was training the junior DBAs. Then I started experiencing some growth in reads, I loved the analytics and seeing people in Europe and Africa reading my posts.
I attended a user group one night and someone introduced themself to me, they seemed to recognize my name after introductions, which made me feel good, but maybe they were just really good at peopling :D. Anyway, we talked a lot, and eventually he contacted me because he was starting a local consulting business, local to him, it was an hour and a half from me. We met and discussed things over dinner, but the logistics and clientele weren’t in my neck of the woods.
A few years later I saw a post on LinkedIn that they had new offices in my area. I reached out and we started working on getting me over there. The idea was to handle their DBA work, upgrades, migrations, installations, maintenance, etc. I was excited as this would (logically based on all of my heroes from above) lead to becoming a rockstar! I’d have things to blog about that might interest people.
Burning It All Down
Unfortunately there wasn’t any DBA work. They worked hard to get me onto contracts filling BA roles primarily, or Data Warehouse development, whatever they could do to make me billable. I had the worst anxiety during this time. I was in full imposter mode, every day. It was daunting. I’ll be honest here, I have PTSD, and although I have done a lot of work on reactions to triggers, I (in hindsight) wasn’t doing well and would later find out or figure out that I had some real depression going on. I don’t think I knew it at the time. But I hated logging in to work, hated meetings, hated not knowing what I was doing.
Then one day I had a meeting on my calendar with the boss, and when I logged in, they were there with HR. I was being fired. My stomach dropped. Stunned, my head shut down.
I had never been fired before. Always a top performer, always promoted, always getting bonuses and performance awards. I was literally stunned. I couldn’t argue, my performance was NOT great. But I had just recently received a bonus, so I thought I was good. No one had told me that my performance was bad. Just out of the blue from that point of view, but like I said, I knew I was not doing well.
So… I did what any rational human would do. I didn’t just leave the role—I erased my online presence and burned dbagooner to the ground. I’d never be a rockstar. No one would read the blog of a loser who was fired. I deleted my blog, my social media accounts, and every trace of the DBA Gooner persona I had built.
The next day I woke up and didn’t have to log in to anything. I felt amazing, for the first time in a LONG time.
Healing and Growth
During this experience, I realized I was experiencing depression. It’s sort of common with PTSD, and I had probably been spiraling, I would bet because of my impostor syndrome, for a while. Since then, I’ve spent time reflecting and rebuilding. The VA was been amazing and is still instrumental in this process. Life isn’t linear, and growth often comes from the hardest moments. That chapter taught me resilience, perspective, and the value of starting over.
Now, I’m no where near as ‘normal’ as I was when I first started this journey, but I am ready to return to blogging—this time under my own name: rjdesmond. This blog is my fresh start, a space to share my thoughts, ideas, and expertise.
Why T-SQL Tuesdays?
To kick things off, I’m starting with T-SQL Tuesdays. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s a long-standing tradition in the SQL Server community where data professionals come together to share knowledge.
Why start here? Because T-SQL Tuesdays represent the collaborative spirit that makes this community so special. It feels like the perfect way to rejoin the conversation.
What’s Next?
Looking ahead, I plan to explore technical topics, career lessons, and personal reflections. I might even sprinkle in posts about my homestead, hobbies, or whatever inspires me. We’ll see where this journey goes.
Beyond this blog, you can find me on BlueSky and LinkedIn. These are the only platforms I’m active on right now (yes, LinkedIn counts—barely).
Your Thoughts
What recommendations do you have for a “new” blogger? Should I branch out into video or audio content? Does anyone even read blogs anymore?
Also, if you have tips about styles, themes, or media, let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear your advice.
Here’s to new beginnings and the lessons we learn along the way.
Cheers,
Ryan
